For parents raising a child with ADHD, dyslexia, or another learning difference, so much attention goes toward what needs support.
School. Executive function. Organization. Friendships. Emotional regulation. Independence.
But as our children move toward adolescence and young adulthood, another question becomes increasingly important:
Where will my child find people and places where they truly belong?
That question is at the heart of the work Riley Mulcahy is building through The RILEY Project, a nonprofit focused on belonging and community for neurodivergent teens and young adults.
I recently invited Riley onto The ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast because his work speaks to what parents need to consider alongside treatment, school support, and executive function skills.
Our children also need opportunities to be known for who they are.
Who Is Riley Mulcahy?
Riley Mulcahy is the Founder and Executive Director of The RILEY Project, a nonprofit supporting neurodivergent teens and young adults through storytelling, leadership, education, and community.
Riley’s connection to this work is personal.
He was diagnosed with dyslexia at age seven and grew up navigating the frustrations and self-doubt that can come with learning differently.
Over time, supportive schools, teachers, and mentors helped Riley recognize that his challenges were only one part of who he was.
He began discovering his strengths, developing his own voice, and understanding how to advocate for himself.
Today, he is using those experiences to create opportunities for other neurodivergent young people.
Learn more about Riley and The RILEY Project.
What Is The RILEY Project?
The RILEY Project creates community and belonging for neurodivergent teens and young adults with dyslexia, ADHD, and learning differences.
Its work includes storytelling, leadership opportunities, education, community events, and partnerships.
What stands out to me is that The RILEY Project is addressing something different from academic or clinical support.
Community.
A diagnosis can help explain why a young person thinks, learns, or experiences the world differently.
But a diagnosis doesn’t automatically connect them with people who understand them.
That matters.
Why Belonging Matters for Neurodivergent Kids
Children with ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning differences can spend years hearing what they need to improve.
Pay attention.
Slow down.
Remember your homework.
Get organized.
Turn your assignment in.
Think before you speak.
Much of that guidance is necessary and well-intentioned.
But when correction becomes a large part of a child’s experience, it can begin shaping the story they tell themselves.
“Reading is difficult for me” can become “I’m not smart.”
“I forgot another assignment” can become “I’m irresponsible.”
“I don’t fit in here” can become “I don’t belong anywhere.”
Belonging gives young people another experience of themselves.
There are things I do well.
I have something to contribute.
There are people who understand me.
I can be different without being less.
Fitting In Is Not the Same as Belonging
This distinction becomes especially important during adolescence.
Fitting in often asks:
“What do I need to change about myself so these people will accept me?”
Belonging asks:
“Can I be known here?”
Of course, our children still need to develop social skills, flexibility, responsibility, and independence.
But helping a child grow is different from asking them to hide every part of themselves that doesn’t match the people around them.
As parents, perhaps part of our role is helping our kids do both:
Learn how to navigate the world while also finding people and places where they don’t have to work quite so hard to prove they deserve a place in it.
Your Child May Not Have Found Their People Yet
When a child struggles socially, it is easy to assume the problem exists entirely within the child.
Sometimes skills do need support.
But sometimes the environment matters too.
A teenager who rarely talks at school may light up around someone who shares the same interest.
A child who struggles academically may become a leader in theater, sports, robotics, music, gaming, volunteering, or work.
A student who spends years feeling behind may eventually enter an environment where the way they think becomes an asset.
Not fitting in somewhere is not the same as being incapable of belonging anywhere.
Sometimes our children simply have not found their people yet.
Why Neurodivergent Young People Need Their Own Voice
Parents spend years talking about our children.
Teachers discuss them.
Clinicians evaluate them.
Schools create plans for them.
Experts explain neurodivergence.
All of that information can be valuable.
But eventually, the young person needs a voice in the conversation too.
What actually helps you?
What doesn’t?
What do you wish adults understood?
When do you feel most like yourself?
Where do you feel capable?
Where do you feel that you belong?
That emphasis on listening to neurodivergent young people is one reason I find The RILEY Project’s work so meaningful.
Why I Wanted Riley on The ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast
I created The ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast to help parents understand ADHD and neurodivergence through a whole-child lens.
That includes ADHD treatment, executive function, emotional regulation, school, sleep, and parenting strategies.
But our kids are also developing identities.
They are discovering strengths.
They are figuring out which relationships feel safe.
They are learning when to ask for help and when to trust themselves.
And eventually, they are trying to find their place in the world.
That is why I wanted parents to hear from Riley himself.
His story lets us hear what growing up with learning differences can look like from the other side of childhood—and what those experiences can eventually inspire someone to build.
A Reminder for Parents
One of the hardest things about parenting is that we are raising someone whose story we cannot yet see.
When our child is struggling at 9, 13, or 17, we naturally zoom in.
The grade.
The friendship problem.
The anxiety.
The missing assignment.
The executive function struggle.
Those things matter.
But they are still only part of the story.
A child struggling to read may someday become a writer.
A teenager struggling to find community may someday become the person building it.
A young person who once had difficulty advocating for themselves may someday advocate for others.
We don’t know the whole story yet.
Listen to Riley Mulcahy on The ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast
If you are raising a child or teen with ADHD, dyslexia, or another learning difference, I hope you’ll listen to my full conversation with Riley Mulcahy.
We talk about Riley’s own experience growing up with dyslexia, the importance of belonging, and why he created The RILEY Project.
Listen on The ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast and learn more about The RILEY Project.
For parents looking for support navigating ADHD, executive function, emotional regulation, school challenges, or family life, you can also learn more about private ADHD parent coaching.