More people now understand neurodiversity, but many schools and communities still don’t fully support neurodivergent kids. These children often face challenges, not because of their differences, but because their environment doesn’t match how they learn and think.
Schools expect kids to sit still, follow strict schedules, and learn in one set way. However, neurodivergent kids often need movement, hands-on learning, and flexible routines to stay engaged.
Dr. Matt Zakreski, a clinical psychologist specializing in neurodiversity, has spent years helping neurodivergent individuals thrive. As someone diagnosed with ADHD later in life, he understands how difficult it can be to succeed in a system that doesn’t support different ways of thinking.
His book, The Neurodiversity Playbook, provides practical strategies for parents and educators to create better learning environments.
This article explores how neurodivergent brains work, why diagnosis matters, and how schools and parents can better support these children. It also explains the role of movement, creative learning, and social time in their development.
What Does Neuroscience Say About Supporting Neurodivergent Kids?
Neurodiversity means having a brain that works differently. Science shows that many neurodivergent kids share certain brain traits, even if their diagnoses differ.
How The Brain of Neurodivergent Kids Work
The prefrontal cortex controls organization, planning, and focus. In neurodivergent kids, this part of the brain often works differently.
That’s why ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and giftedness can overlap. Many people have more than one neurodivergent trait, even if they only have one diagnosis.
In the past, doctors thought autism and ADHD couldn’t exist together. Now, research shows they can. Many people see ADHD traits in themselves later in life and finally understand their struggles.
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Why a Diagnosis Helps in Supporting Neurodivergent Kids
Some parents worry about labeling their children. But without a diagnosis, people often get unfair labels like lazy, forgetful, or disorganized. A diagnosis gives people the right tools and support instead of making them feel like they are failing.
Helpful Strategies for Executive Function Challenges
Many neurodivergent kids struggle with executive function. These strategies help manage daily life:
- Use tools for the organization – Set reminders on the phone or keep a visual schedule.
- Try structured schedules – Block time for tasks and use techniques like Pomodoro (working in short bursts).
- Create routines – Attach new habits to existing ones to build consistency.
A diagnosis doesn’t just name a condition—it helps people find ways to work with their brain instead of against it. With the right strategies, neurodivergent kids can build routines that make life easier.
How Can Supporting Neurodivergent Kids Help Them Adapt to Social Rules?
Most people—about 80%—are neurotypical. The world is designed for them, making it harder for neurodivergent kids to fit in. Social rules often include unspoken expectations and indirect language that can confuse those who think literally.
Why Social Rules Feel Unclear
Neurotypical people often rely on implied meaning. They expect others to understand what they mean without saying it directly.
For example:
- A grandmother says, “It might rain later.”
- A neurotypical person understands this as “Bring in the laundry before it rains.”
- A neurodivergent person hears this as just a weather update and does nothing.
This difference in communication can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and unfair judgments.
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The Difference Between Masking and Code-Switching
To fit in, many neurodivergent kids learn to mask, meaning they hide their natural behaviors to seem more neurotypical. However, masking for long periods can be draining and stressful.
A better approach is code-switching, which means adjusting behavior when needed but allowing time to recharge.
Example of Code-Switching:
- During an important meeting, a person makes eye contact and avoids stimming.
- After the meeting, they take a break to relax and be themselves.
- This balance helps them function without exhausting themselves.
How to Build an Environment for Supporting Neurodivergent Kids
Instead of forcing neurodivergent kids to adjust constantly, society should create spaces that accept different ways of thinking. The goal isn’t to force people to act “normal.” It’s to create spaces where they feel comfortable and understood.
Importance of the School in Supporting Neurodivergent Kids?
Kids learn best when they can move, create, and explore. Sitting for long hours makes it harder for them to focus, especially for those with ADHD. They need movement to stay engaged. Without it, they may feel restless, frustrated, and overwhelmed.
If a young girl struggles to keep her feet flat on the floor while sitting, she might spend all her energy trying to sit “correctly” instead of paying attention. This can lead to frustration and even a meltdown. She would likely stay focused and calm if allowed to sit comfortably or move when needed.
Creative activities like art and music also help kids engage with learning in different ways. Some children process information better through hands-on experiences. When schools remove these options, they force all students to learn the same way, which doesn’t work for everyone.
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The Link Between Less Play and More Anxiety
Recess and unstructured play help kids develop social skills. Children lose opportunities to connect with others when schools take away this time.
- Play helps kids learn teamwork and problem-solving.
- Unstructured time allows them to practice social skills naturally.
- Without social practice, many kids feel isolated or anxious.
Some children struggle to interact because they haven’t had enough practice. Schools may mistake this for autism when, in reality, they need more chances to socialize.
Recognizing What Kids Truly Need
Many neurodivergent kids don’t struggle because of their diagnosis. They struggle because their learning environment doesn’t support them. A child who seems inattentive might just be bored with work that isn’t challenging enough.
Also, a fidgety child may not have ADHD—they may need more movement during the day. So, instead of forcing every child to fit into a strict system, schools should create learning spaces that allow all students to thrive.
How Parents Can Help in Supporting Neurodivergent Kids to Thrive Successfully
Children spend most of their time in school, so their learning environment plays a big role in their growth. If the school doesn’t support their needs, they may struggle with learning and confidence. Parents can take steps to ensure their child has the right support at school and home.
Finding a School That Works
The best way to help neurodivergent kids is to find or create a school environment that respects how they learn. Therapy can help, but it only happens for an hour or two a week. They spend most of their time in school, so it needs to work for them.
Ways To Support Them:
- 504 Plans and IEPs – These can provide learning accommodations to help with focus, organization, and engagement.
- Gifted Programs – A gifted child may need a more advanced or flexible learning environment.
- Alternative Schools – Some charter schools, gifted programs, or online schools offer better options for neurodivergent kids.
- Advocacy – If the school doesn’t make changes, parents can push for placement in a school that will.
Some schools already support different learning styles. For example, some classrooms have climbing structures because certain kids focus better when they move. If movement helps a child learn, they should be able to do it without being seen as disruptive.
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How Parents Can Help in Supporting Neurodivergent Kids to Thrive Successfully
Why Movement and Choice Are Essential in Supporting Neurodivergent Kids
Many schools expect kids to sit still, listen, and complete worksheets all day. This approach doesn’t work for everyone. Instead, schools should allow flexible seating, hands-on learning, and more freedom in how students complete their work.
Colleges give students choices in how they learn, and younger students could benefit from a similar approach. Kids don’t need more strict rules—they need a learning environment that works for them.
The Parent’s Role in Advocacy
Parents must keep pushing for what their child needs. Some schools resist change, but that doesn’t mean parents should stop fighting. Working with teachers, exploring different school options, and joining support groups can all help.
Support groups for ADHD, autism, or gifted education can provide guidance and advice. Talking to other parents can make it easier to find solutions that work.
The goal isn’t to force a child to fit into a system not built for them. It’s to find or create a space where they can grow, learn, and feel confident in who they are.
Conclusion
Supporting neurodivergent kids means creating spaces where they can learn, grow, and feel confident. Many challenges they face come from environments that don’t support their needs, not from their neurodivergence itself.
Schools must provide flexible learning options. Kids learn better when they can move, explore, and engage in ways that work for them. Sitting still for long hours or following rigid rules doesn’t help every child. More movement, creative activities, and social time can make a big difference.
Parents play a key role in ensuring their child gets the right support. They can work with teachers, push for accommodations, or look for better school options. Connecting with other parents and experts can also provide helpful ideas and support.
Every neurodivergent child deserves to be understood and valued. When schools and families work together, these kids can thrive in school and life.
FAQs
How can parents start supporting neurodivergent kids at home?
Parents can create a structured but flexible routine, provide a quiet space, and use clear, direct communication. Encouraging movement, hands-on learning, and allowing breaks can help kids stay focused and calm.
How does sensory sensitivity affect supporting neurodivergent kids?
Many neurodivergent kids react strongly to light, sound, textures, or movement. Loud noises or bright lights can be overwhelming. Supporting neurodivergent kids means recognizing these sensitivities and making small changes, like using soft lighting or noise-cancelling headphones.
What role do schools play in supporting neurodivergent kids?
Schools can support neurodivergent kids by offering flexible seating, movement breaks, and hands-on activities. Teachers can also use clear instructions and visual schedules, allowing kids to show what they’ve learned differently.
What are common myths about supporting neurodivergent kids?
One myth is that neurodivergent kids need to try harder. In reality, they learn and process things differently. Supporting neurodivergent kids means adjusting their environment, not forcing them to fit into rigid systems.